Thursday, August 4, 2011

I'm back ...

6 weeks to go and we move into our new home.

I am so excited. finally something to blog about.

Im going to give this bloggy a bit of a facelift in the meantime...
and here is a sneaky peak of my new garden good God, please do not let me kill it.

I hope someone is out there listen to me.. actually it doesnt really matter if they are not, I just want to use this as an online diary as we venture into the world of being farmers, we have lots of plans, Im sure the learning curve is going to be rather huge... the commuting certainly is going to be... but it feels so right.

Em xo

Sunday, April 10, 2011

little flash back

I would eat him if it were legal

they all look a bit feral here, but it cracks me up

they were both sick here, so cute

I love my family, and I love making them a family home...
I have just been going through old pictures and sorting them into years.. the years whisp by dont they.
LOVE them.. just sharing the cuteness

Hold the phone

So in 3 weeks time I have a HUGE wedding, my biggest one yet. Its going to be GLORIOUS.
Kissing Booth, More ribbons that you can dream about, detail like no other wedding I have ever seen, even not the internets.. yup!

On the same day, our old home is going under the hammer.. so I have been working my butt off getting that house on the market, hopefully someone makes an offer before hand. Its been fairly painless because we are not living in the house, we haven't been for 5 months or longer so that does make me a little more relaxed.

Also, we are still on the farm quest ....  which brings me to the point of this post.
Our life is in a little bit of limbo at the moment.

Our home is all in boxes, not knowing where they are going, and its unsettling and  I don't like that at all.
I'm not enjoying the house we are living in, way to small for 5 people, 3 of them being robust boys.
But I know that we will find something very very soon, I can feel it, in fact we have found about 4 properties now that all would be great, but making the final push hasn't come yet.

Anyway - I think this blog will turn into a blog about our new life as farmers.. well I hope it will.

When I say farmers, I mean just for us, not on a commercial scale just to keep us as self sufficient as we can.
I hope to be able to share much more of my beautiful boys growing up at a rapid rate, and also to be able to share my journey re-decorating whatever the new home will be (notice I didn't say renovating, I'm never doing that again) but just putting our touch on a place, and learning the ropes of self sufficiency.

At the moment life feels a bit like when you are on the phone to telstra or the ato and your listening to hold music, you cant take a shower, go for a walk you even debate munching on a cookie because you think in the first bite someone will come to your aid and you wont be able to converse with them.. this is how I feel, in a permanent state of  'on hold' ... so that's where I'm putting this blog until the day I have news to share about the new house, then a new journey will begin and I plan to blog it as a diary ...

thanks for those who still stop by for a read ...
one day when regular blogging commences it will be worth your while (I hope)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

This Crazy Life

I sometimes think we might be crazy...

{dont be fooled by those squishy cheeks}

Archie is VERY  loud..
He is 4 so I know tantrums come with this, he also has two parents who are both incredibly stubborn and I think the poor kid got a double whammy of that gene.

So the other night before bed he asked for a drink, just after I had sat down .. you know on the lounge to sing him Mama Cas - I'm not allowed to hum.. "I only want the words" are you getting the picture... control freak! for all his cuteness he has become a stubborn little bossy britches.. who for the most part does not get his way, unless I'm exhausted..
so, on this night.. I was exhausted, it was 9pm (normally the kids are in bed by 7:00) Archie wants a drink.. MV proceeds to get him one.. all hell breaks loose because "I don't want daddy to pour it, I want you to pour it" .. I said "no, you can have that one or nothing".. then the battle began.
We don't smack, we don't yell we talk calmly but firmly and then.. we I put him in the bedroom where he was screaming.. you have never heard anyobe so loud, I promise you this....
"the drink daddy gave me is making my dieeee" "I'm going to choke" "its chooookkkkiiinnnnnggg mmeeeee"
Drama city!
eventually.. erm, 40 mins later he calmed down and went to sleep in my arms.. looking so cute i might add.
then there's a knock at the door...
*insert bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do* .. one of our neighbours.. so kindly rang the cops.
of course the impact was lost on the fact the evil little boy had now flaked it..
MV told them what happened and they all had a chuckle.. not me, I was/am horrified.

Snapshot :: In the last 48 hours

we have had Archie turbo vomiting
a tantrum (no cops called this time)
an A for Billy on his science project
Prepping for a huge wedding next weekend. HUGE.
Oscar coming home with a yabby he caught in the creek on the way home.. that was actually dead.. yuck!
MV having to have major emergency dental ... this is not a rare thing
A blue tongue lizard being held by Oscar 2 metres away from me.. ahhhhhhh
Bob the cat bringing in so many crickets and playing with them.. just foul
2 assignments due to hand up tomorrow so homework is all over the table.
party invitations to rsvp
Billy has given up meat for lent... did he eat meat anyway?
Im doing a course at the moment with Holly from Decor8 and I will post about that at another time,
Life changing, is the only way to explain it.. but also draining in a good way, so much self assessment.. why me, why this wheelchair stuff.... LOVE it.. l.o.v.e.
then planning the details of our little Melbs holiday.. kid free!!

then little moments happening in these hours that I just want to freeze and never forget.
Oscar made Archie breakfast this morning and they sat eating it looking out the window chitty chatting or as Archie calls it 'Shitty Shatting'
Archie on the way home from kindy talks non stop, today he told me that the reason he sometimes gets sad at kindy is because "My brain keeps thinking I love my brothers"
Then the daily art in my life I love so much, I get drawn pictures at the moment I have a rocket blue tacked onto the top of my computer screen, ready to blast off at any moment.
I found Oscar at 11 o'clock at night YouTubeing the rare flight of some kind of bird.. he lives and breathes animals... it is amazing.
Billy is the sweetest older brother, constantly meeting Archie's demands, bringing him cool rocks home to add to there collection.
we sat and played Lego for almost 3 hours.. I love that stuff.. even if I can only make houses.
I have a drawing of Archie and I on a cloud on a rainbow.
Billy asking every 2.5 seconds if he can have a hair cut, the seconds in the middle he is asking about food.
Animal Planet is a permanent thing on the TV at the moment, and I'm fine with it.
I was told today that I was loved as much as every single leaf in the world.

Does it get any better... actually dont answer that..

its crazy. and I love it so much. my little nest.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Crush :: Goats (baby ones)

Clearly when I get my goats I will have to do a photoshoot

Im one of those annoying people who gets an idea in my head.. and basically obsesses over it until, well, until it happens... So for about 12 months I have been eating, sleeping, dreaming about getting baby goats..

crazy huh

I have named them.. Gilbert Blythe and Gwyneth.

I also want chickens, but I have had chickens before.. I want to be a real farm girl.. and the goats will be the sign  I made it ... 'farm girl' status! .. I have had special farm girl boots in my wardrobe for the last 2 years.. so clearly you see I have patience :)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentines Day + Oscar is 10

After a really sad and dark time in my life, I hoped one day I would be loved and that Billy and I would be okay.. When you lose people you love days are actually dark, it seems like the sun never shines..wired I know, but so true.
Valentine's day when your single especially when you have a child can be pretty miserable.... I remember feeling lonely and lost and pretty sorry for myself..
Maybe because I knew half the free world was being gifted chocolates.. (I'm not even joking)

I had vowed I would never celebrate V'Day again, after all, we should love each other every day.. blah blah blah.... then my path led me to meet MV

a year and a half later

So appropriately on Valentine’s Day, the sweetest of souls Oscar Louie was born, the first thing I noticed about him was his white blonde hair, my own little blob of sunshine!!

1st Birthday

Isnt he like sunshine!!??

For 10 years we have been blessed with him, his dimples his skinny legs his smile his cheeky smile . 10 years of Animals, Bush exploration, Crocodile Hunter, Bondi beach talk, Lizards, Beetles, Bird watching, Football, Cricket, Brilliant taste in music, guitar playing muso, amazing drawings, contagious laughter, 10 whole years..

and still every morning when he wakes up it truly is like the sun has come out to shine... and I wont ever forget what he brought into our lives.

He warms me to the core he mended my heart – Happy 10th Birthday beautiful young man.

May your day today be warmed with the joy of St. Valentine, or Cupids arrow whatever your flavor.

But know you are loved, if one creature in the world loves you no matter how great or small you are loved.
Im throwing love your way to.
Love is BIG, no matter how small.

And that's pretty awesome when you think about it.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Back To It

Back to school for the big boys

Oscar in year 5.
Billy is year 9.
and that little lump of daily sugar Archie has now started kindy.

First week, didn't go that well, tears, gripping on to his Mamma.. telling me he doesn't like it and wants to stay with me every day f o r e v e r! (of course in my head this is fine with me) but I had to be strong and loosen those proverbial apron strings.. ahhh, so hard to do.
I'm not afraid to say it, I HATE my house when its empty, no little voices asking to be fed or watered or dressed or 'will you play with me' .. don't like it one bit, I have looked forward to the time when Archie started Kindy as i really do need some time other than 1:00am to work, but I don't know... I think I just only know it to have a little person around my feet, drawing and playing Lego while I go about whatever it is that 'stay at home mums' go about.....  so yeah, as I sit in my empty house 4 mornings a week.. four words keep coming back to me ...

"time for another baby"

Pretend I didn't type that....

Anyway - took a happy snap of the first day at Kindy with no tears, bless this little chap, he even got me a flower, he gets it.. he knows I have loved every minute of him being with me the past 4 years, so I guess that makes it all completely worthwhile.  right?

At least I will be able to blog more than once a month with ALL my free time .. do parents actually have free time.. let me know if you do because I cant find any time to allocate as 'free'

Monday, January 3, 2011


The year my blog broke :)

Shall we call it that, wow, what a year!
Honestly the best year we have had in a long time.

Things I will always remember when I think 2010 are that it was Billy's first year in highschool.
I was so worried I was actually sick about him going to highschool, we had a pretty rough time all the way through primary school.. this year I was expecting to be the worst ever.. lesson one 2010 gave me,
never expect the worst! He had a the best year, I could go on about it for ever, he loves his school and whats more important his school loves him back! that is enough to make my year the best ever.. he is also 3 inches taller than me and wears a size 11 shoe.. blink.. thats what one year can do to a teenager!

But then I also have been so lucky in my own life away from being a mum and wife, my work is really taking off at a speed I had never even thought of, my 5 year plan has fallen into place in just over a year.. I have to pinch my self.. and I do. The wonderful thing that has come out of it all is the women I have met.. some I new already but we have become close and they are so special to me.

Im the sort of girl who likes boys, more male friends than girlfriends, girls can be annoying.. or so I thought, but the past 2 years my firendships with my female friends have become my oxygen, I love them dearly I could not live with out them, they inspire me, make me laugh and make me happy. really happy.

MV as always is the best husband ever. love him so much. He has my heart!

Oscar is also his sweet gentle self 2010 has seen him settle more into his onw person, muso/wildlife warrior he is Bear Grylls with a Cobain chaser, he rocks, I currently am housing about 100 tadpoles a frog and crickets.. yup.. sort of why I think little girls would be easier.

Archie, my little old man turned 4 :( started pre-entry to kindy, so in a few short weeks he will be gone 4 mornings a week.. BREATHE.. Im not even thinking about it until the day before.. this kid is the bomb!

2011 will bring so much for me/us we are still looking for the perfect home.. so frustrating, it wont happen over night, but it will happen, hopefully before I put my head though the laptop screen on
we are fussy. and even if we were not fussy finding a 5 bedroom house with the type of property we want is not easy. ahhhh!! has some things that Im busting to tell the world about happening in the first 3 months of the year, I cant sleep thinking about what is happening, In my wildest dreams I couldnt have thought I would be doing all this.. also some amazing weddings and events so excited for them to come around.
They are really beautiful and I hope to keep doing better and better.

even if I never want to see another dessert table again..(shh I didnt say that)

New Years resloutions.. yeah I make them, I try to keep them, its a way of staying focused.. even if I

1. to be more in the zone of 'my body is my temple'
2. to love my family and freinds even more and tell them about it more
3. to me a better mamma and wife
4. new house, new house, new house (and it would be great if I could have a goat, his name will be Gilbert and he will be my friend)
5. stay focused on my vision (which is very clear) for White Room and enjoy the ride
6. Enjoy the ride
and as the ladies of 'The View' say.. Enjoy the View!
Hopefully I had something and some time to blog.. I miss blogging. alot.

I have the best feelings about 2011.
Thanks so much 2010, youve been sweeter than honey to us xo

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Four whole years ago

If I was at a beach in Japan.. I would probably have been harpooned.. I was THAT big.
I have photographic evidence.

Looking forward to my new baby coming..
I was so excited.... I couldn't wait to smell that new born baby smell, to inspect him from his wrinkled toes to the wispy hair on his soft small head.. I felt so lucky.

It had been a long wait.

over a year before we had unexpectedly found out we were pregnant.. we were thrilled.. beyond.
it was not to be, God had other plans.
But after loosing our angel we were on a mission to bring a new person into our family.

When we found out that we were expecting again about 6 months later.. I knew that there was a special soul waiting for us.

sent to heal us.

Next week I will tell you all about him ...

He rocks my world.

Friday, November 12, 2010

warmy warm

Oh how I love this warm weather.. even if its raining.. its blissful..
I hate the cold... I do not get why people like cold weather.. to me they are crazy people. loco.

I saw this wedding via blog land today and had to post it.. gosh it took me to a happy place.
how great would this be for any sort of party.
If you have a party like this, please invite me.

bright streamers wedding reception

apple cart at wedding

I'm in full swing of prep for Archie's birthday party next weekend.

The other week I was talking to a friend about kids parties and we were saying how people make such a fuss, I think we blamed Martha... and how some folks go all 'mental' I'm pretty sure I used that word.. over things being 'styled' ...

now I know what your thinking ...
'pot calling the kettle black'

Im guilty as charged... but I tell you what, on the day its ALL about the birthday boy/girl/pet
As much as I have it in my head how its going to look, I don't agonises over any of it, its fun and I have loved watching all the crappy TV in the world the last week while making little things for this party.

The best thing about this party coming up is that with my two older boys if they were having a party they would tell me the theme/direction and not really input ideas, so I would be working away on details they loved on the day but really didn't give two hoots about.
Archie has been so different with this party, he has actually come up with some great ideas.. and has helped me with so much, its been the coolest.
next week we get to cook all week, because my mean husband told me he wouldn't cater for it... I swear Im not a diva, I like cooking and all, but heck, there ain't enough hours in the day really....

anyway - point of post -
Im a details person, I cant change that, its me.. but Im also aware its about fun..... I have been to parties where the sole purpose of the parents of the birthday child 'seemed' to be the details, you know where the kids cant actually even breath in case the bunting goes array..
its crazy.

I have told my husband if I ever get like that, to put me in a corner for serious time out.

full on week ahead.. love this stuff.....

more pics of this wedding over here

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Days filled

with preparing, school boys, friends, cleaning, working more than I ever dared to dream.

Archie started Kindy.. oh my goodness.. how how how?

We had a small holiday to Victoria, so beautiful and enriching
so the days are filled, and they are happy happys days.. I so wish to post more...
I really do...

Something very exciting is happening in the Vawser household, of which I can not speak (my husband swore me to secrecy!) he is one of THOSE people who dont like to say or do things until they are set in concrete... *ywan* but Im a dreamer...but Im hoping to share soon..I know you would be thinking 'baby',  its not a baby of the human varity but a baby we have dreamed of on and off for over 10 years, in fact we put it away thinking it would never birth.. and I feel so blessed its going to happen.... okay - I have said to much... hush!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Hello Sun .. it actually came out

This week brings the start of the school holidays, we went to the zoo.. I love the zoo.. but it gives me mixed feelings.. surely daddy lion needs more room!
Archie and I soaked up the sun with some dinosaurs on the back lawn.
I have been fasting now for 4 days.. which is making me lose weight but also making me a grouchy bum.. ask the kids...
Am I the only person in the world who hates balloons??? accept if there is a balloon launch, they are cool.
the minute my kids get them they fight... its a forgone conclusion that if they have a balloon it will end in tears, well I'm hungry and tears will just frankly irk

At the end of the week I get to cuddle my friends new baby.. a little bit excited about that.
haven't held a new little freshy for a while!

I also have a dear Friend who is about to start preparing for a trip to Bangladesh to build relationships with remote family's and put in place education systems, Im so excited for her, I will post links etc when I get them so you can follow her blog and journey! it will be amazing!

all I have to say is bring on summer, or even a kick ass spring and I will be happy :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hi .... yep.. me again

Ah, the lack of posting.. but I honestly have no idea what to post about.

Do you want me to bore you with details of the house we are planning to build,
because between that, busy life with kids which is just about to get a whole lot busier due to little Archie starting Kindy.. eeek
and being every busy with my work and study I feel so exhausted.
should I post pics of things I have been working on? or will that bore the willys out of you?

here is a 'sweet table' I did for a bridal shower
you can see more on my FB page and more will be on

As far as building, we know what we want, we know what we LOVE and want and need (well not need but think we need) .. now to pull it all together and make it happen..
that is the hard bit, its met with nights .. Loooooong nights full of discussions, over not so fascinating things like 3 or 4 car garages, roller doors, kitchen storage solutions and how to make it uber cool, timeless and functional all at once....... yeah, lots of discussion, for the most part we agree on everything, we have the same taste, I do have to reign in the  'bachlor pad' look every now and then.. but lets face it, I pretty much live in a bachelor pad... ay ay ay.
so... because there ain't much to post I thought I would post some pics of the styles we hope to achieve and maybe get my mojo (as far as bringing it all together) going via blog land..

I missed you all anyway

I did think of shutting this blog down, because Im forever posting about my lack of posting.
but I thought once the house gets underway I will have something to post about,
also Im hoping to add baby #4 to the mix in the next 18months so I would really have something cool to post about then, or rather whine about my daily pregnancy hunger pains and cravings.....
so Im keeping it.. even if its hanging on by a thread at this point.... a thread is better than nothing hey?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

This post over at Soule Mama is sooo much how I feel, so easy to blog about little people, harder as they become more complex and in a way private, I feel funny sometimes posting about Billy's development.. he is such an amazing young man, but in a way its his story now, I feel like its his to tell... so I step back from sharing about him...

I was only talking about this with him the other night, how he felt about me talking about his Autism, talking about his ups and downs with people, it was an interesting conversation, that ended with
"ma, you should do your hair like that more often, it suits you"
He is so genuine, so sweet and so grown up beyond what I sometimes realise, in fact he might just be the most mature person I know.. I still get blown away when he walks in the door after school everyday, with his height, he is now 5 inches taller than me.
The journey with Oscar is similar, slow and steadily travelling toward manhood.. its overwhelming, I want time to freeze, at the same time as enjoying every moment, every new realisation they come to as hey get older and have more life experience.

Parenting baby's and toddlers for me has been a piece of cake, I can say I have loved every single moment, with the older boy its a whole entirely different experience, its wonderful, magical but its in a way a conflict of interest for a Mamma, you want to baby your babies, right? but there not babes anymore, you have to let go and some how hope that they develop to be their true selves, not hindered by my hope and dreams or my dear husbands wishes and aspirations for them.. after all we just want them to be loved and feel love and with everything in them and us allow us to love them.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Are blissful, yummy and if you put 30 in front of me.. I will eat them all.. I promise I do.

Archie and I made the ones that martha makes.. yeah, I know from my lovely regular shapes you could tell that..haha!! so easy to make and pretty damn delish.
The only thing is the getting them all perfect.
Im making another batch tomorrow so that I can perfect their flatness and their frilly feet.

a pink batch.

Thursday, August 5, 2010


‎15yrs ago today my Opa died, he taught me so much.
1.girls don’t wear pants, they just don’t
2.Tom Jones rules
3.Never trust a man in white linen pants (even if he's your father)
3.5 Always trust a man who combs his hair with kerosene (he never went gray or lost his hair!!!)
4.Live life with joy & faith and a smile
5.Your family is your luckiest asset + much more
he taught me the bliss of throwing a party, dancing, singing and prayer.
♥ you Opa

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Pretty, Pretty

Im hosting a Girls Night In in October to raise money for womens cancers and I thought Id put it out there in case any of you were thinking it would be fun to have one to.
Mine is just very small group of my BFF's pretty in pink to start with and probably not so pretty by 3am.
Anyway - I dont get to do many pink dinners being surrounded by boys and men... so Im looking forward to wearing some pink and making some pretty.
details here

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I have moved.. woo hoo!

Thank goodness, I have had a crazy couple of weeks.
2 awards nights that husband presented at, so in between the hell that is moving house, I got frocked up.
The boys loved the move. I didnt, nor did Moses the cat.......

before his fancy new haircut

Telstra Small Business Awards 2010

Monday, July 19, 2010

Chicken Hommus Salad

1/2 cup Hommus (make your own or buy one)

2 tablespoons finely diced celery
1 tablespoon finely chopped green onion
1 tablespoon finely chopped red bell pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
freshly ground pepper
1 cup cubed grilled chicken breast (or any leftover chicken)
1 tablespoon water (I omitted this, instead used lemon juice)
Bread or salad greens, for serving
In a large bowl, stir hummus, celery, green onions, bell pepper, salt and a sprinkling of pepper.
Add chicken and water (or lemon) and stir until mixed thoroughly.
Serve with bread or over your favorite salad greens.

Enjoy xxoo

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Gwenny's House (Chris might live there)

I don't know if I have shared this before but Im a little bit in love with Chris Martin from Coldplay.
I think he is somewhat beautiful!
I ever found myself a single gal again I might hunt him down.Just saying.
Thats not really the point of this post, it is however to show you Gwen and Chris, plus their two kiddies Apple and Moses (sigh, I love their baby names!) new pad in Tribeca NYC.
I have to say that while I think its STUNNING! this decor would last about 1.8 seconds with my boys and Im not sure my husband would dig the oh so girly decor.
It wreeks of Gwenneth and while I do love her aswell, I wouldnt have minded seeing a bit more of an edge to the style of their apartment. When I showed my husband Chris and Gwen's bedroom he said
"thats because he never sleeps their".. interesting, maybe Im in with a chance.hehe.
I do love the swing lounge and have always thought one of them would be great until my 3 kids started hammering it against my Chalk USA dulux walls, so maybe not.. but still cool.
Apples room is delightful.. but needs a bit more of, well, Apple in it.
I would have loved to see a picture of Moses's room.. but Im sure its probably white or peach.
All the lighting gets a big thumbs up from me.... love it!
My favorite bit is the built in lilac dining booth, beautiful, love it... again though, do her kids eat here?
I can only imagine my kids shuffling their bums (as cute as they are) in and out of that booth every day after vegemite on toast.